Reading The Ethicist’s column on the New York Times brought to surface a question I’ve restrained asking Catholic friends… until now. Before I proceed with the question, I invite everyone to read this particular part of the column:
My wife and I are seeking to adopt a child. The leading Web site that matches adoptive couples with birth mothers forbids same-sex couples to post on its site. We oppose the antigay views of the site’s operators, an expression of their strongly held religious beliefs, but we want to maximize our chances of finding a child. Is it wrong to put our own interests ahead of our broader ethical beliefs? NAME WITHHELD
I sympathize with your desire to start a family and admire your willingness to provide a home for a child who needs one, but I can’t endorse your way of going about it. If the adoption organization refused to allow, say, African-Americans to post on its site, I presume you’d refuse to work with it. If you’d explicitly reject racism, why would you tolerate homophobia? In what sense do you oppose antigay views if your beliefs do not comport with your actions? How would I distinguish you from someone who embraced antigay policies?
If, as you assert, you repudiate the site’s antigay policies, then you should be true to your own values, even at some cost to yourself, and find other adoption organizations to work with.
So here’s my question, which I find better framed if I plagiarize The Ethicist:
A counter-argument by a Catholic might be: but being black is not a moral issue.
Then there’s the problem. You may not be truly supportive of your gay friends after all.
This post is not (necessarily) a call-to-action; just a food for thought. I’ll still be your ninong in your children’s baptisms, attend your Church weddings, and be at your Requiem Masses — granted I’d still be invited and not barred from attending, lol.
I take it back, this is a call-to-action. Please read: Pack up