Ikaw Lamang…

… ang puro negative sa public perception sa debate poll, LOL.

I chanced upon the Vice Presidential debate on ABS-CBN last night and I thought I’d make up for hanging up on Lorin the last time we talked. So I called her up immediately after the telecast.

Me: Oy, Lorin.

Lorin: *stiffled crying*

Me: O, why are you crying?

Lorin: People hate me! I… I don’t understand?! I pandered to the masses with my questions on VAT and Cheaper Medicines Act… and yet, they still hate me?!

Me: Voters are matalino na.

Lorin: Matalino? Wait… is this really you speaking?

Me: Yes! And I’m telling you this in Tagalog ha? I know you were napahiya big time when you claimed you were from Antique and you couldn’t understand a single thing when Mar spoke to you in Ilonggo, LOL!

Anyway, di ko din gets why the masa and mahihirap were so hard on you on that pulse ng bayan wireless thing. It’s like, they upgraded na; as if the masa went from being fans of Folded & Hung to Fred Perry…

Lorin: Yes, yes… you’re right. You think they can see through me na?

Me: Well, don’t wear white kasi… and you wear bra naman, di ba?

Lorin: *crickets*

Me: Ay… LOL! You mean, you think the masa and mahihirap can tell you’re wearing your fake smile, modulating your voice for that kawawa and crestfallen effect, and speaking so fast to pretend you’re smarter than you really are? No naman.

Lorin: Then what is it?

Me: Your new ad, Lorin.

Lorin: My ad? You mean you don’t like it?

Me: Like it? Eh kulang na lang pagsuotin ka ng wig ni Director Cathy Garcia Molina, tapos suminghot kayo ng Biogesic ni John Lloyd while doing the rain dance…

Lorin: Ay, speaking of rain dance, as the Angelina Jolie of the Philippines cum Mother Earth you know, I think we should do that for the farmers in Nuev…

Me: Stop it!!! You’re getting it wrong. The voters, they’re matalino na nga. The matatanda, the farmers and working class — they can’t be swayed or influenced by a Sarah Geronimo, duh!

Lorin: So what do you suggest?

Me: Get Anavil Ranma.

Lorin: The Anavil Ranma?

Me: No other. She has the background given Roopah’s Bruneiyuki scandal.

Lorin: Background on what?

Me: Given your penchant for jumping party lines, from one politician to another, Anavil would know a thing or two about prost….

Lorin: *click*


7 thoughts on “Ikaw Lamang…

  1. heyjay says:

    Ahahaha! Sobrang aliw your post. I wasn't able to catch the part where Mar made supalpal Loren.Kawawa nga si Loren, but I still won't vote for her though.


  2. Jason says:

    Iyun nga, she's pandering to the masses by blaming VAT on Mar, when in fact, VAT is perhaps one of the few saving graces of the Arroyo administration.In her closing statement, she also implied that Mar sat on one of her education-related bills; of course, since it's her closing statement, Mar couldn't respond anymore.Recently, she said Mar attempted to dissuade her from running as VP in exchange for something. Why would the front-runner, with a substantial lead based on all surveys, bribe the second-placer?


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