I had dinner with five mommies earlier. (I was the only guy and singleton in the group.) I love them and I have great fondness for them because they are around the same age when my own mother had me, or was raising me.
I learned a lot of things from the dinner. And seriously, it’s always important to get other people’s perspective. As I previously blogged, I personally think it’s the next best thing you can have next to actual experience.
I was particularly amused by how one mother was aghast to find her daughter, a sophomore college student, sleeping next to her boyfriend in her bedroom after several hours of studying. (It was more like a nap actually.) The mother didn’t find them in a comprising position; they really were just sleeping, but she hyperventilated at the sight. All mothers were in agreement that the daughter should have avoided the situation, while I am still processing what exactly is wrong with that, lol.
Another mother raised the social networking issue, how privacy is sacrificed for the sake of vanity and ego by kids (actually, not just kids) who freely upload and share photos and videos, up-to-the-minute status messages, and personal information online. I agree with her—and truly, it’s an issue I am still dealing with myself—but at the same time, I wonder if our concern is exactly the type that young ones would label as prudish thinking. (On a side note, I remember an article I read on the Internet on how future political candidates will eventually have to run their smear campaigns based on information extracted from their opponents’ respective online accounts, most of which would’ve been activated when they were still children/adolescents. That’s just four or five presidential elections away. Imagine that.)
Eventually, they all asked me if I ever plan on having kids of my own. They were gracious enough to agree with my misgivings: how hard it is, how expensive it is, how I’d rather spend the money for myself.
“You undergo a self-transformation,” one countered, as she described how one hug from your kid makes all hardships worth it. “You forget about yourself; someone else matters more than you. The selfishness gives way.”
I thought that’s a really meaningful life, one that’s devoid of selfishness.