This is another one of those trailers which did nothing for me except to show that Penelope Cruz still got her Spanish accent:
Let me just get this out of the way: I don’t get Penelope Cruz, particularly her Oscar win for Best Supporting Actress for Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Up to this day, I’m not sure if she was awarded for her lips, hair, accent or histrionics.
As it turned out, the movie (directed by Rob Marshall; written by Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott) was better than the trailer, and I found Penelope to be more tolerable than I expected. In this fourth installment of the film, Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) finds himself in the midst of three crews who are racing to find the Fountain of Youth: the monarchies of Spain and Great Britain, and a pirate ship, captained by Black Dead (Ian McShane).
Black Dead is a newly introduced character in the Pirates film, but other characters have returning roles. It’s just that I can’t be bothered to Wikipedia the plot structure of the entire franchise because I’m lazy like that. But I did IMDB the names of the rest of the cast and there I learned that the captain of the pirate ship is in fact, Blackbeard and not Black Dead as I’ve heard it in the entire two hours of the film. I’m perplexed at this point.
To access the Fountain of Youth, they need to perform a ritual, which requires among other things, a teardrop from a mermaid. You’d think that with all the Pinoy fascination that we have on mermaids—from Alice Dixson to Charlene Gonzales to Claudine Barretto—I’d have my fill on them, but as it turned out, this particular story arc was not only engaging, but it was the only thing that kept me hooked throughout the film. I wish the film concentrated on them so we could have seen a royal battle between the sea creatures and the pirates. Then Penelope could have played a mermaid instead—a Spanish beauty lost in the seas and who is attacked by the Nordic mermaid legion because it thinks she doesn’t deserve the Oscar.
May issue talaga sa Oscar, lol!
Instead, we see Penelope play Jack’s love interest, which was really unnecessary in this film: take this particular relationship away and you still end up with a sound plot.
The script has its hilarious moments but nothing can be funnier than the climax—it’s essentially an argument against the Catholic Church. Quite appropriate considering the Reproductive Health bill debate going on in the country today.
Wait until after the end credits for a few seconds of extra screen time by my favorite actress, lol.