My mother wants people to touch me

My mother forwarded this email about how we should emulate dogs, which basically means cheesy lines about being perpetually happy, experiencing the wind on our face, sniffing each other’s privates, being loyal, etc. 
They’re essentially pretty good tips until I got to the seventh bullet:

Pretty good advice… when you’re a stripper in a gay club.

PS
Also, in the last entry, let’s qualify “someone” to be “not some random stranger.”

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