Writing this post is like going to the dentist–a necessary evil! (Sorry, dentist friends.) For the first time in five years, I read the least amount of books in a year–down to 1/4. 😝 There’s literally pain in my chest as that information sinks in.
I got hooked on watercolor, which I guess, is not such a bad tradeoff. I got commissions from friends and sold a few ones. My interest dipped later in the year, but I was back in the saddle by December. I’m still not as prolific as when I started but I will get there.I started meditating in the last quarter of the year; I lie down, concentrate on my breathing and try my best not to think of anything else. You may check out the Headspace app and The Meditation Podcast (my favorite is the episode on letting go of negative feelings–I felt like I started on a clean, fresh slate after this. It’s also funny that my grudges were with total strangers I bumped into at the MRT, malls, etc., haha!)
My lack of reading has taken a toll on me, I know it. I am less focused now, unable to pay attention on one thing for as long as 10-20 minutes. When I read articles, I merely browse through the page, almost deriding sentences that don’t give factual information. (Watercolor–where I can spend hours and hours of concentration and which lead me to skip meals–doesn’t seem to help in this aspect.)
I do not think I can do it, and therefore, I will not include reading more books in my resolution. I simply do not have enough time during the weekday. Watercolor alone sometimes take me up to three hours; exercise is one hour; and catching up on Internet reads is another hour or two. With the traffic and later, dinner and meditation, I cannot even squeeze in time to go out or see people (e.g., date). Still, I will try, but it’s really just not going to be a priority.I’m okay with being single by the way, though often, I’ll slog through my workout and think, “What’s the point of having these gorgeous pecs for?” 😀 and it can be very self-defeating when I have another set or two of push-ups to go, until a tiny voice says, “The clothes–you’re doing it for the good fit of your clothes” and I just focus on that and allow the mantra to grow louder and louder until the deafening cry of this fashion-related target propels me to an awesome push-up victory. Lol. By the way, I’m doing advanced push-ups now: it’s called the dead-stop reset push-up. I got major gains in just a week–try it!
I’ve been medically diagnosed as “slightly obese” during my last two annual check-ups. I’m skinny fat (they’re all in my waist), which I think is worse than being fat all around, because then at least, you are well-proportioned. Still, that hasn’t convinced me to go to the gym: the exercises I do home is just as grueling–not optimal–but challenging nevertheless. (Though there’s a part of me that says I cannot leave this world without experiencing being borta.)
So, generally, I plan to keep up with my watercolor, meditation, and exercise. I also plan to go back to school, but I don’t want to go into the details yet because I still don’t how it will play out, given that I feel I don’t have enough free time outside my day job. I’m also determined to have an entirely liquid emergency fund by the end of the year. Oh, and for simple resolutions, I will take more selfies 😀 to document happy moments and show that I am #confidentlybeautifulwithaheart. ❤