Saturday, August 12, 2017

5:26 p.m.
Drove here to Laguna last night, bringing with us an oxygen tank from Mandaluyong. Pa’s flare-ups have been getting more intense recently, that he now requires an oxygen on standby. So we brought the tank in case there’s a brownout or if the concentrator does not work again. Then this morning, a neighbor dropped by to have the tank refilled near the town proper, while my parents’ handyman cleaned the tires of the car and did minor aesthetic repairs. Thank God my parents did that civil thing called being nice to the neighbors, lol. I barely know the people in our apartment compound, except for the families I grew up with, to the extent that I won’t recognize their faces in case we cross paths elsewhere. It makes me wonder how I’d survive in my older years and I need to rely on the kindness of other people I may not necessarily be close with. My parents’ neighbors have been a great help these past few days.

Pa seems to be doing well today in contrast to how Ma recounted last night the events of the last two weeks when Ate and I were not around. I could tell how tired she was and she even summoned the courage to say that we need to start preparing for the worst. Again, having been through the worst with Pa, I’ve been more pragmatic and calm among all of us so far. I wish I could impart that composure, which I got from Pa, to Ma, who can be… frazzled, i.e., like earlier this morning when I was demonstrating to everyone how to set up and use the oxygen tank and I kept being interrupted by some of her nagging and later, shrieking when Prince got out of the door and therefore, getting dirty from the suds of the carwash; and later, more shrieking when Prince ran back to the house with mud all over the floor; and then much later, with even more shrieking when Prince ate Choco’s food—all in a span of 5 minutes, lol. I’m not sure if anyone learned anything from my demo, lol. Next month, it would be four years since we received Pa’s COPD diagnosis, which at that time, we equated to a death sentence or at the least, the end of a quality life. And over these years, there have been and continuing challenges for sure, but we’re all still thankful because we recognize that it could have been much worse. We are aware of how his sickness is like a ticking time bomb, but aren’t we all living (or dying) under the same parameter?


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